Thursday Thirteen

My Thursday Thirteen is about things I love and hate. So I will tell you 7 things I love and 6 things I hate. I am more of a lover than a hater anyway.

Things I love:

1. I love my food lady. She understands everything I say and has to translate for the rest of the people. She knows exactly what I want to eat and when. She smells good and is nice and toasty, and she lets me snuggle up right next to her in bed.

2. I love going outdoors. I was a feral cat and I will always be a little wild. Every once in a while, I stay out really late at night. This worries my people but I am just spreading the word to the mice and rats to "stay away".

3. I love to be brushed, but only by my food lady and food dude. They know just how to do it.

4. I love roast chicken, pork, steak, cheese, and sitting right next to the food dude while he eats and getting treats from him. The food lady says they're cutting back on this food, but the food dude whispered a secret to me about that food which I promised not to repeat to anyone.

5. I love cat adoration time. This is when my people pick me up and pet me in all the ways I like and tell me I am the best cat in the world. I'm sorry to have to break this to the rest of you blogging cats, but it's the truth. You'll have to settle for second best, third best, etc.

6. I love it when my people do not go to work because then it is all cat adoration, all day. This is when they do my bidding all day and night. It's a good thing because they need me to tell them what to do around here! This place would be lost without me.

7. I love my new couch! This is a picture of me on it. The food dude went a picked it up a week ago. He called it an anteek. I call it comfy! As you can see, I position myself in the middle to get maximum satisfaction. It's mine, mine, mine! They tried to use it a few times but I complained very loudly about that.

Things I hate:

1. I hate loud noises. I'm called Halloween but I am a scaredy cat when it comes to loud noises. This includes the food dude's voice and laughter. Other disturbing noises: vacuum cleaner (also looks like a big snake), hair dryer, leaf blower, FIREWORKS, car backfire, motorcycle, racoons on the deck at night fooling around on the furniture like it's their personal playground, etc., etc.

2. I hate going to the groomer. They put water on me. I've seen photos on cat blogs of cats sitting in sinks. They must be mutants. How could any cat voluntarily sit in a place where water might touch them?

3. Cat toys. They are beneath me. Designed to keep cats stupid - go chase, like dogs. I reject every cat toy given to me. I prefer to make up my own games, and spring them on unsuspecting humans. Bat the plastic pen top is my favorite. I like the feather on a stick game, but just because it makes the people do something.

4. I hate being picked up and carried into the peoples' cat box room. That's because they close the door behind them and then put me in the prison box. I have learned to set my claws on maximum scratch when I see the prison box. So now they try to fool me and act all nice and lovey dovey by picking me up and petting me and telling me I'm the Queen of All the Cats in the World, and make sure I'm looking the other way and then the door shuts and they put me in prison. This is especially mean because their jobs are to try to keep people out of prison boxes (or at least keep them from staying there forever or something), but they still put me in one!

5. Being put in the prison box can mean only one thing: the V-E-T. Like all the rest of you, I hate the VET. Well, maybe Skeezix doesn't hate the VET. He seems to have made himself into a superstar over there at Boulevard Pet Hospital and acts like he likes it there. Maybe I should tell my people to drive across the bay and go to Boulevard Pet Hospital and see if going in the prison box might have a happy ending instead of the pain and torture I am forced to endure.

6. I hate it when my people go away, especially the food lady. I am very picky about people and reject just about anyone who wants to take care of me. Then I take it out on them when they come home by ignoring them.

By the way, thanks to all of you cats who come to visit me. I am always happy to see your posts. My food lady is almost done with her big project so I should have time to visit you all soon and see what is going on in your lives.